先秦文學班上周四完結,Galeano文學班則是昨天,兩班偶爾會有意想不到的聯繫,所以也一次過寫寫。
一班有同學說,Galeano文章這樣短小精悍,寫ig post應該會好好睇;另一班有同學說,《莊子》書中看那個有點走樣的孔子,覺得像看CapTV。
說《詩經》時著重說其影響力,講〈邶風.柏舟〉時即提及張愛玲的散文〈論寫作〉,這段是她說的:
小說,如果想引人哭,非得先把自己引哭了。若能夠痛痛快快哭一場,倒又好了。無奈我所寫的悲哀往往是屬於「如匪浣衣」的一種。(拙作《傾城之戀》的背景即是取材於《柏舟》那首詩上的:「……亦有兄弟,不可以據……憂心悄悄,慍於羣小。 覯閔既多,受侮不少。……日居月諸,胡迭而微?心之憂矣,如匪浣衣。靜言思之,不能奮飛。」「如匪浣衣」那一個譬喻,我尤其喜歡。堆在盆邊的髒衣服的氣味,恐怕不是男性讀者們所能領略的吧?那種雜亂不潔的,壅塞的憂傷,江南的人有一句話可以形容:「心裡很『霧數』。」「霧數」二字,國語裡似乎沒有相等的名詞。
按,「如匪浣衣」即是沒洗的衫,神奇的是,這句用廣東話解,不就一下打通?
形容冇洗嘅衫係「噏住」,形容唔開心亦係「噏住」,用衫噏比喻心噏,既有一陣氣味,也是未了的心結,濕濕粒粒唔爽快,二千幾年前的比喻,因為相對少人知,今日讀來只覺貼切又新穎,簡直天衣無縫,這廣東話的聯繫也不知是happy coincidence還真係上接《詩經》咁古雅。這些聯想也往往是上堂一邊講,自己才突然想到,希望不太像亂噏,哈。
來上課的朋友都是是現代人,自然會用現代眼光看古文,生出了許多有趣聯想,例如覺得〈漁父〉那位漁父說不定只是屈原的alter-ego,一個人迷迷茫茫,才在江邊出現這幕內心小劇場;〈鄭伯克段於鄢〉那位武姜,因大仔倒轉生腳出先,而偏心細仔,最終使大仔陷害細仔,則很有可能是self-fulfilling prophecy。
今次重讀覺得有意思的則是,那位大仔(莊公)的陰險,說不定是遺傳——讀《韓非.說難》(多冷峻的文章)就知道,莊公爸爸鄭武公也不是善男信女,那個借人過橋的「胡可伐」故事,可能正是莊公細細個就聽的家教和庭訓,怪得誰。
如這比附成立,除了媽媽武姜的self-fulfilling prophecy,在全篇〈鄭伯克段於鄢〉absent的爸爸鄭武公,可能才是這場兄弟相殘、家庭悲劇的真正幕後黑手。宋代呂祖謙在《東萊博議》全力責怪莊公,若有多些心理分析向度,則可能覺得大仔細仔同是受害者,都有點無辜。
在Galeano班有時也會提到古文。Galeano關心在歷史中隱沒的女性,Memory of Fire 有篇寫常出現在偉人傳記的Benjamin Franklin之後,接著一篇就是寫資質跟他相當的妹妹Jane Franklin Mecom,文題卻是 “If He Had been born a Woman”。
如果Benjamin Franklin生而為女子,就注定跟這位妹妹一樣,終日做家務、洗衫、生仔,“spends whole nights cradling those that cry, washes mountains of clothing, bathes stacks of children”,便又講起「如匪浣衣」,這位Jane哪裡有空試探與發明:“Jane never has time to think, nor allows herself to doubt.” 壅塞的憂傷,心裡一定「霧數」: "She has done all she could to keep from going mad and sought, in vain, a little silence. Her case will awaken no interest in historians."
Memory of Fire 每段皆先列出時和地,然後是題目。有這樣的背景,有兩段,正正以其不標明時地人而尤其凸出。班上說過,一段是 “You”,Galeano借烏拉圭國父一樣的Jose Artigas來自照流亡的經歷;另一段是 “Someone”,也就是所有人,寫得多好:
1969: Any City
Someone
On a corner, by a red light, someone swallows fire, someone washes windshields, someone sells Kleenex, chewing gum, little flags, and dolls that make pee-pee. Someone listens to the horoscope on the radio, pleased that the stars are concerned about him. Walking between the tall buildings, someone would like to buy silence or air, but doesn’t have the cash. In a filthy barrio, amid swarms of flies above and armies of rats below, someone hires a woman for three minutes. In a whorehouse cell the raped becomes the rapist, better than making it with a donkey in the river. Someone talks to no one on the phone, after hanging up the receiver. Someone talks to no one in front of the TV set. Someone talks to no one in front of a one-armed bandit. Someone waters a pot of plastic flowers. Someone climbs on an empty bus, at dawn, and the bus stays empty.
短期內不會再開文學班了,抖抖也好。慶幸一年多來,因幾個班而遇見許多不同背景與性情的朋友。學到最多的人可能是我自己,謝謝各位。後會有期!
圖:ACO一景
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